Fun at the gym
by Emily Mood
Summary: The Cullens pull some fun pranks at the local gym.
1. Chapter 1

**I own, but I don't own twilight, wish I did. If I get reviews and if u guys like it I'll probably add another chapter.**

Emmett bounded down the stair to Edward and I who were comfortably sitting on the couch, "Hey are you guys bored?"

I rolled my eyes about to scold Emmett for not just letting us be when Alice skipped into the room.

"Oh my God Emmett, count me in!" Alice yelled for upstairs and us to hear she must have just had a vision of what Emmett was planning.

"So are you guys bored?" he repeated.

I sighed, "Not really."

Emmett glared, he hated when I ruined his plans finally he said, "Well too bad because I am and I think we should have some fun."

Edward studied Emmett carefully before turning to me, "It dose look fun Bella."

"What looks fun?" I questioned.

Emmett smiled pleased that I'd asked, "We're going to pull a prank at the local gym."

"Please enlighten me," I ordered not sold at all. Ever sense I became a vampire 16 years ago Emmett would drag everyone into crazy schemes.

"Don't worry Bells you're immortal, you'll find out," Emmett answered, "I'm going to ask everyone else if they want to join us.

It was Friday afternoon one of the busiest days at Forks local gym. The treadmills were all filled up and the weight racks had huge lines of big strong guys that look liked gangsters or something dangerous. Of course none of us Cullens were scared, we were vampires and a bunch of humans couldn't put a shiver through us. Every one of the Cullens had decided to go to the gym despite Esme and Carisle.

Emmett whispered something that I couldn't detect with my vampire hearing in Rose's ear and she nodded. I studied him closely trying to figure what was up as Rosallie walked to the front of the line at the bench press. She looked down at the guy who was about Emmetts size and glared. The man had probably never seen anyone so beautiful was stunned. He dropped the bar that was holding an impressive amount of weight.

Rosallie smiled and caught it with one hand right before it would of crashed into the mans chest. "I thought to get a good work out you had to do the work and not let gravity do it." Rose effortlessly put the bar back in the metal holders

The line behind the guy laughed and he colored red, "Why you little…"

He didn't get a chance to finish before Alice jumped in between them and said, "I wouldn't mess with her or I'll have to get involved."

This time the guy laughed, "I think I can take you shorty."

In perfect timing Jasper appeared flexing his huge muscles he asked, "Did you just call my wife short?!"

The guy backed up, "No."

Emmett was strategically standing behind him, "Yes you did. You were also going to beat up my wife, but worst of all you were undressing her in your head."

The guy stood there shocked and suddenly Barbie Girl came blasting through the gyms sound system. Emmett immediately ruined the intense moment by dancing and screaming, "YES MY FAVORITE SONG!!"

I didn't actually start laughing until Jasper began singing with him. Much to my disbelief Edward was over there with them singing too. I stood there stunned. I couldn't actually believe they were singing and dancing to Barbie Girl in front of a whole bunch of tuff guys laughing.

Then the biggest guys yelled, "You little fags!"

Rossalie went straight up to him and looked him in the eyes, "Did you just call my husband a fag?"

"Yes," he replied coolly.

She glared, "Why don't you arm wrestle me. You win he's gay and I divorce him, I win you sing Barbie Girl solo."

He met her gaze, "Deal." Nobody really thought Rose would win (except us Cullens we knew her secret, venom), but she did. She let him shove her arm down till it was a mere millimeter to the ground before she snatched her arm up and slammed his to the ground.

She smiled wickedly, "Guess you have to do a solo."

They guy pitifully stood up and did a solo. I was laughing hard now. I was glad Emmett made me come this was enjoyable.


	2. Chapter 2

**I own, but I don't own twilight, wish I did. If I get reviews and if u guys like it I'll probably add another chapter.**

We'd, well actually I hadn't done anything yet, even though I'd been with the Cullens for 16 years I felt a little left out. It was still fun to watch though. I mean seriously wouldn't you enjoy watching Emmet singing Barbie Girl?

"So what's next?" I asked Emmett.

He grinned, "We're going to have a race."

I tilted my head confused, "This gym doesn't have a track."

"But I dose have a treadmill," Emmett said grinning.

I laughed, "Emmett I thought by now you'd know treadmills were stationary."

He mimicked my laugh, "I do, but the people in this gym don't know that I don't."

I nodded beginning to understand, "So we act really seriously."

Emmett patted my back _hard_, "Congrats Bells you're starting to catch on."

I rolled my eyes, "There's one problem with your plan genius, there aren't anymore treadmills."

He smirked, "Now, but when Rose goes up in a gym uniform pretending she's staff telling them that their membership expired there will be."

"That is mean," I declared.

"No it's Cullen, if we wanted to be mean we'd eat people," Emmett replied.

I rolled my eyes and watch Rosallie go up to people on six different treadmills and say, "Sorry to interrupt your workout, but I've been informed that your membership is expired. If you have any questions please ask the front desk as of now you'll have to stop using the equipment until we get this figured out. Sorry for the inconvenience." She got some strange looks from shocked costumers, but other then that the plan worked flawlessly. I think everyone was to intimidated by her ungodly beauty to argue. Plus she had a death glare from hell.

She waved us over before any other scavengers could get to the treadmills before us. As soon as we were there she dashed off changing into a really raveling workout outfit. She was back in an instant.

"You guys ready to race!" Emmett yelled for the entire gym to hear.

"Bring it on!" Jasper yelled just as loud. Now we were getting strange looks from everyone in the gym.

"Rules first," Alice declared now we were all talking in voices loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Rules darn those suck," Emmett grumbled.

"Rule one no tripping other contestants. Rule number two no taking short cuts. (that one got us some really odd looks) Rule number three first one to the finish line abiding all the rules win. Agreed?"

We all nodded.

Emmett began pumping his fist, "I'm going to be champion."

"No your not you'll probably take some short cut through an Ally," I argued.

"Therefore I'll win," Edward yelled echoing off the walls.

Alice rolled her eyes, "You guys will all be losers, now let's start. Three two one go."

Instantly everyone fingers began holding down the button that upped the speed of the treadmill.

"And Emmett takes a lead," Emmett yelled.

"Whose shortly caught up to by none other then Bella the great," I shrieked in excitement, trying not to burst out laughing.

"Too bad during all there arguing Rosalie passed them both," She said.

Emmett glared at his wife and began stomping his feet really loud as he ran, "Emmett pushes again into the lead with Spice Girl power. You tell me what you want what you really really want. I'll tell you what I want what I really want!"

"Too bad he gets passed by Jasper who has Britney Spears power. Ops I did it again. I played with your heart. I lost the game," Jasper sang, now the weird looks were put to an extreme.

Alice started belly dancing on her treadmill and sang, "Nope I'm the champion with Shakira power. Oh baby when you talk like that you make a woman go made."

The thing that made this so funny was the fact that we weren't laughing. We were keeping straight faces, like this was the Olympics. That was why were getting strange looks, being pointed at, and talked about.

"You guys better all watch yourselves I can see the finish line," I warned keeping a serious face.

"Oh and with an intense finish Emmett goes through the finish line first," Emmett yelled jumping up in down in excitement.

"Edward gets second," He yelled.

"Rose comes in third," She screamed.

"Jasper fourth with his Britney Spears power," he yelled.

"And Alice belly dances through the finish line," She said shacking her hips.

As I was about the yell my coming through the finish line Emmett yelled, "Poor Bells still running will she make it?"

I glared at him, "I will make it thank you very much."

"Bella don't you dare take that short cut no, no, no, no, you cheated," Emmett yelled.

"Poor Bella disqualified for cheating," Jasper cooed.

I glared, but Edward said in a quite voice so only the vampires could hear, "Go along with it."

"I didn't cheat what are you talking about," I said defending myself.

"Oh Bella the shame. We saw you cutting through that ally," Alice said in a sad voice.

I was about to argue, but someone from the gym staff came up to us, "Due to disturbing our other patrons I must request you leave this gym."

Emmett jaw dropped, "But I don't wanna leave Mommy. How could you do this to me?"

The woman from the gym looked at him like he was crazy, "Sorry, but you must leave."

"Fine let's go guys. We can call child support now," Emmett grumbled.

"Well that stinks that we got sent out now we're done," I sighed.

Emmett gave me a quizzical look, "Just when I thought you were a Cullen too."


	3. Chapter 3

**I own, but I don't own twilight, wish I did. If I get reviews and if u guys like it I'll probably add another chapter.**

I stood outside the gym with my family waiting for them to explain what the plan that made them all amused was. I studied all of their faces that were hiding their devious plan.

"Okay guys what's up?" I asked a tad annoyed.

Alice smiled, "Why do people go to the gym Bella?"

I shrugged, "To get in shape."

"Why else?" Jasper asked.

"To lose weight," I guessed.

Rosalie smiled, "So Bella when you're trying to lose weight what's the one thing you're craving."

"Unhealthy food," I guessed again.

"By God I believe she's got it," Emmett yelled giving me a high five.

"Actually I don't," I replied still confused. I was annoyed that they understood, but I didn't. I wondered how long I'd have to be the newcomer in the family, five, six hundred years.

"Bella love, we're going to get some ice cream and doughnuts. Then we will eat them in front of that window where the treadmills are," Edward explained.

I felt a sly smile cross my face, "Now that's brilliant."

Emmett shrugged, "What can I say."

"You can say that you ddn't come up with the plan," Alice shot at him.oii

He glared at her, "Fine the writers of the Simpsons did, but that doesn't mean we can't use it."

"Why don't you two argue later so we can go to the store and get ice cream," Edward suggested.

"Wait I just had a realization, we don't like ice cream," I pointed out.

They all laughed and when the laughter died down Alice replied, "They don't know that and we will only act like were eating it. Of course we will spit it out, but we'll do it so fast they won't be able to tell."

"Oh," I nodded.

We entered the store and Emmett stared at the carts with a glazed look in his eyes. I could almost hear the levers in his mind turning.

"Emmett I thought you were in love with Rose not inanimate objects," I said as he stared at the carts.

"I thought you were in love with Edward not a Werewolf," He shot back.

I glared at him and let a growl escape my throat. I hated when anyone brought up Jacob. I loved him and it hurt that they were always being jackasses and bringing him up. That was one flaw in my perfect family.

"Chill Bella," Jasper said as he shot a wave of calm at me.

"Sorry that's just one of those topics I wish you'd tiptoe around," I replied coolly.

"Sorry Bella," Emmett grumbled, "Anyway I'm not in love with the grocery carts I'm in love with my idea."

"What's your idea?" Alice asked.

"Whatever it is Emmett keep me out of it," Edward replied.

"You'll wish you never said that when I tell you my idea," Emmett replied.

"Please explain," Rosalie pushed.

"What if we had a cart race?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes, "That's immature."

"I think it sounds like fun," Jasper replied.

Of course when Jasper agreed so did Alice. Rose always ended up doing stupid pranks with Emmett so it was no surprise when she grabbed a cart. Then the rest of them gave Edward and I puppy dog faces and taunted us for being boring party poopers. Finally I caved which made Edward cave and we ended up having to do a cart race!?

"So here are the rules, we go to isle 34 then we curve around and go to isle 1 then we meet back here in the middle. Last one here has to actually eat the ice cream and doughnuts," Alice explained.

"What do I the winner get?" Emmett asked.

"First off you're not winner yet and the winner will get the chose the ice cream flavor the loser has to eat," Alice explained.

"Sound good," Emmett agreed.

We formed a line and Alice yelled for us to go. As soon as the words were out we all began sprinting with our carts in front of us. I let the cart build up a fast speed until I leapt onto the back of the cart. I shoved my weight into it forcing it to go even faster. As soon as I gained a nice speed I looked at my status. I wasn't last Rose was, but I was second to last. Edward was first, but Jasper and Emmett were on either of his sides pushing forward. Then I had a genius plan as I was flying past the hardware isle. I grabbed some rope and through one end around Emmett's cart who was now in the lead. The rope came back and with it I brought Emmett back a little, who was now pulling me at his speeds as I pulled the rope, shortening the distance between us. Then I was able the reach the back of his cart. I reached out and grabbed it shoving his cart backwards, which gave me leverage that pushed me into the lead. I was at isle 34 and I curved it quickly afraid to be caught up to. I raced back it isle 1 and then to the finish line first.

Second Jasper zoomed in then Edward, Alice, Rosalie and last was Emmett. When he came across the line he was glaring at me. I even heard growling rumbling. If I didn't now better I'd think he was going to attack me as if I were a grizzly.

"What's wrong Emmett," I questioned with a smirk on my face.

"What's wrong is you cheated!" he roared drawing even more attention to us. We were already being stared at due not only to our cart race, but are beauty.

"Actually I don't remember Alice saying anything about not being able to pull people back with a rope to get ahead," I replied smugly.

Alice laughed, "She's right I didn't. Now Bella it seems you get to choose Emmett's ice cream flavor."

"So it seems," I replied grinning wickedly, now I'd get to pay Emmett back for pranking me all these years.

i €…


	4. Chapter 4

**I own, but I don't own twilight, wish I did. If I get reviews and if u guys like it I'll probably add another chapter.**

Alice helped me pick out the ice cream. What we would do is I'd make a decision on what I wanted and then Alice would see Emmett's reactions. Turns out going through all the ice cream flavors mocha vanilla twist was Emmett's least favorite flavor. Everyone else choose randomly because it truly didn't matter what it was because we didn't have to eat it. The entire time we were picking out the ice cream Emmett was glaring at me. For doughnuts we just got a giant box filled with all sorts of flavors.

"This is bound to be the best prank we've done today," Alice said gleefully.

"And when we're done guess what we can do!" Emmett roared with excitement on are walk back to the gym.

"What something else I can beat you at?" I asked mockingly.

"No we can go to McDonalds and play in the playhouse," Emmett said excitedly.

I rolled my eyes, "Sounds great."

"Have you ever done it?" Emmett defended.

"No and I don't plan to," I said.

"Well you better start planning because that's what we're doing after this," He shot back.

"Whatever," I mumbled.

Finally we got to the gym. We sat right in front of the window the people on treadmills running their full speed towards us, only they were stationary. Their fat was bouncing around and they looked miserable, like they'd rather be anywhere other then on the treadmill.

We pulled the lids off ours ice cream and took an enormous spoon full of the creamy goodness. Slowly and dramatically we lifted it into our mouths chewing like it was the best thing ever. Then at a vampire speed we threw our heads backwards and spat it out. Then we were ready to repeat. Emmett on the other had the funniest facial expression as the ice cream hit his mouth. It twisted into disgust and he gulped it down like it was crap. We all burst out in laughter.

I turned to see the expressions of the runners on the treadmills. Every one of them had creases in their faces do to frowning. They had this deep want for what we had. When we were each half way through with our cartons Emmett began pucking on Alice's shoe.

"Oh my God Emmett that's Ralph Lauren!" Alice screeched.

"Who?!" he asked looking sick.

"Ralph Lauren the greatest designer in the world. Ew Ew Ew! You're so buying me a new shoe," Alice squealed.

Emmett shrug, "Just take one of Roses shoes she has way too many."

A look of horror crossed Rosalie's face, " No she won't. I have exactly how many shoes I need 385, one for everyday of the year, plus some and they're all individuals and designer. No way am I giving one to Alice."

"I bet you wouldn't even know if someone took a pair of your shoes," Edward argued.

"Yeah well I bet you wouldn't notice if I took one of your stupid cds," Rosalie said spiting in his face.

"Yeah Edward I doubt you listen to all of them. There all classical junk anyway, boring," Emmett said faking a yawn.

"Sorry Emmett not all of us like the Spice Girls, Aquamarine, Backstreet Boys, or Britney Spears," Edward snapped back.

Emmett stuck his nose in the air imitating Edward in a fake British accent, "Hello I'm Edward I'm too god to listen to the Spice Girls. I'd rather listen to some dead dude play a boring piano. I shouldn't even talk to you because I'm to high and mighty. The only things I care about are Bella, my Volvo, and classical music."

Everyone burst out laughing except for Edward and I. We were both letting growls of anger come out.

Just as I was about to leap at Emmett Alice pointed to a middle aged man and said, "Oh my God you guys that's Mike Newton."

Emmett laughed, "See Bella aren't you happy you became a vampire instead of marrying him.

I punched his shoulder hard, "I was never going to marry him. I never even liked him."

"Ow that hurt Bella," Emmett whined.

"You deserved it," Edward growled.

"So Edward you think you have some competition?" Jasper asked.

"Shut up!" Edward ordered.

"I think that's a yes," Alice giggled.

"It is not," I said then I leaned down and kissed Edward full on the lips, "See."

"Oh crap he's coming over here and he's going to notice we look exactly the same," Alice said just having a vision.

"What are we going to do?" I asked worried now.

Alice sighed, "Looks like it's a good thing I brought my makeup." Of course Alice brought make up everywhere. Instantly she began making everyone look sixteen years older at a vampire speed. Just in time too.

"Bella, Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper?" Mike asked in shock.

"Yeah you seem surprised," Edward growled.

"Yeah well I just thought your marriage wouldn't last," he shrugged.

"It did and we have three kids at home," I added lying.

"So he knocked you up senior year? I knew it," Mike said quickly.

I glared, "Nope Edward dose things classy."

"Whatever, so you guys are seriously eating ice cream in front of the gym. That's so mean," Mike said.

"I think the reason your in a bad mood is the fact that you turned out ugly, fat, and bald while we on the other hand turned out stunning," Rose snapped at him.

He glowered, "I have to go work out."

He walked away and we all cracked up at how big of a loser he turned out to be. I'm so glad I didn't end up with him. Shudder.

**Reviewing makes me smile, smiling makes me happy, when I'm happy I listen to music, when I listen to music I get ideas, when I get ideas I write, when I write a add new chapter sooner! ******


	5. Chapter 5

**I own, but I don't own twilight, wish I did. If I get reviews and if u guys like it I'll probably add another chapter.**

Here I was in McDonalds standing in front of the Playhouse. I thought I'd never have to be here again in my life after I was five, but no. Emmett had dragged me and the rest of the family to McDonalds. Everyone had mean glares at Emmett.

"You know shouldn't we buy something here before we use to "Playhouse?" Alice asked referring to the stares we were getting.

"That's a great idea Alice I LOVE Mickyds!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Emmett listen to me carefully, you can't eat human food," I said slowly.

"But this isn't human food it's a bunch of weird stuff. Have you ever seen a three year old happy meal? Oh MY GOD I just realized if I get a happy meal I get a toy," Emmett screeched jumping up and down.

"No," Rose said sharply, "You can't you're too old."

"When's the cut off a hundred and seven?" Jasper asked teasing.

I laughed, "Well if that's the case Emmett I'll get you the happy meal if you don't make me play in that playhouse."

"Deal or no deal," Alice exclaimed weighing the options in her hands.

"NO DEAL!" Emmett exclaimed, "I want both." Then he began stomping his foot.

"Stop Emmett or you'll break the floor," Edward commanded.

Emmett immediately stopped and mumbled, "Stupid floor damn architects should expect angry vampires."

"They should, but they don't because they can't see the future," Alice sang.

"Stupid pixie," Emmett grumbled.

Alice and Jasper both glared at him. I wouldn't wan to receive those glares, but Emmett got so many glares daily it was clear he didn't care anymore.

"Anyway because I can see the future I'm glad we still have all our makeup on," she chirped dancing around.

"I'm not I actually might not be the most beautiful person in the world right now. Do you know how that feels? Never mind that was a stupid question of course you know," Rosalie muttered trying to catch her reflection on something.

"Don't worry Rose you're still the most beautiful person in the world," Emmett said kissing the top of her head.

"Ah thank you Emmett," she said before kissing him on the lips.

"Would you guys rather make out or hear about the future?" Alice asked annoyed.

They both looked up at the same time and together said, "We'd rather make out."

Alice glared at both of them, "Too bad you're hearing the future because we can do something fun with this."

"What is it Alice?" Rosalie grumbled.

"The cashier on duty in three two one is Lauren," she buzzed.

I held my hands up, "Hold up the Alice that used to go to school with us?"

Alice smiled, "That one."

Emmett rubbed his hands together with an evil smile, "Oh this is going to be good."

"What're you thinking?" Jasper asked excitedly.

"Oh what am I not thinking?" he asked.

"Let's see um… common sense," I answered for Jasper.

Emmett turned to glare at me, "You're just jealous about my plotting talent."

"Oh yes deeply I want to know exactly how you got me in here so I can beat you and instead be home with Edward," I replied icily.

Emmett rolled his eyes, "Whatever now let's get this chick."

"Oh yes let's," I replied actually excited at getting back at Lauren. The stunt she pulled at my weeding was unbelievable.

_Flashback_

_Edward and I were up on the stand with the Minister saying our vows. It was truly romantic because Edward wrote his own vows about Eternity and instead of saying until death due us apart he wrote until nothing because we will always we together dead or Alive. At that part I could see my mother weeping in the audience. I had to try really hard to not hold back tears. I'd been so nervous to be in front of that many people and knowing me I'd probably make a huge fool out of myself. Of course Alice and Rose had spent all day making me almost as beautiful as a vampire, but I still felt uncomfortable being starred at. Although as soon as I saw my soon to be husband looking amazing in a tux I forgot about the butterflies in my stomach. This was mine and Edwards day not the audiences._

_When the Minister said the standard lies, "If there are any objections please speak now or forever hold your peace." _

_Lauren jumped up and waved a pregnancy test, "This couple isn't in love he just knocked her up. I have the proof right here."_

_My jaw dropped I knew it was a mistake to invite a self centered bitch to my weeding. Rose, one of my bride's maids was enough. I could see Charlie having to restrain himself from jumping on Edward and attacking him. I felt my cheeks flush the darkest shade of red ever. _

"_That's not true," I yelled._

"_Oh really then why dose this test have a plus sign on it," Lauren snapped back defending her crude accusation._

"_Because the person who took it, which wasn't me happened to be pregnant," I replied back trying to suppress the anger surging under my skin._

"_Then truly why would you guys get married right after high school if you weren't pregnant?" Lauren asked back with cruelty glowing in pure evil eyes. _

_This is when Rosalie stepped in, "Because they're in love. Maybe you don't believe in love because no one would ever love you because you're a frigid bitch. If Bella was pregnant wouldn't you see a bump? If Bella was pregnant would she be going to Dartmouth in the fall? Seriously Lauren think with common sense oh I forgot you don't have any sorry."_

_Lauren stood there defeated. Then the security Alice had known to hire due to this marched her out of the weeding. _

"_Well after that unplanned entertainment let's continue this weeding," Edward suggested._

_That was exactly what we did, but the embaresmeant never left my cheeks. Lauren had ruined the most sacred day of my life. _

End of flashback.

I felt the anger re bubble inside me. Lauren was going to pay for what she did. It turned out that pregnancy test was hers. She'd got knocked up with Tyler right after high school. Turns out she was the slut not me. Now it was time for the slut to burn in hell, no one messed with vampires and lived to tall about it.

**Reviewing makes me smile, smiling makes me happy, when I'm happy I listen to music, when I listen to music I get ideas, when I get ideas I write, when I write a add new chapter sooner! ******


	6. Chapter 6

**I own, but I don't own twilight, wish I did. If I get reviews and if u guys like it I'll probably add another chapter.**

I looked at the cash register grinning I'd never been so happy to take revenge in my life. I thought making Emmett eat ice cream and puke was good revenge, but this, this was worth a life time of catty remarks and ruining the most special day in some ones life. If I had a heart it would be racing with excitement.

We walked to the counter. Ok so maybe it was more like we were strutting like models up to the counter, but seriously if you were as beautiful as a vampire would you do a dole walk. I mean really all eyes are on you, why not impress them.

When we reached our destination I could tell Lauren was looking us over. Oh by the way my power is optionally reading minds. I usually don't use it because I believe it's rude, but in Laurens case I was definitely not going to give her any respect.

_Oh my God is that Bella Swan and the rest of the Cullens. How'd she end up that pretty? She was dirt ugly in high school. I can't believe Edward liked her not me!_

"Hey loser can I get 55 cheeseburgers and 22 Oreo Mcfluries," I asked keeping a straight face.

"You serious, at ordering that much food? You're going to get so fat and ugly, oh wait you already are," Lauren snipped.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Oh shut up and get our food. Oh and for your information we never said we were going to eat it."

Lauren gave her a weird look, "What are you planning to do with it."

Alice jumped up and down with excitement, "Oh you'll find out. Now get our food."

Lauren turned around with a scowl on her face and began to get all the food ready.

"Wait," Emmett screeched making the whole restaurant look at him, "I want a

Happy Meal!"

Lauren snickered as she turned back around, "You're too old for one."

"Are you discriminating against age? You know in the constitution says that's against the rules," Edward said meeting her eyes.

"Yeah dose it not include that in Looney Ville's constitution. I've never been there, but you're a permanent residents so who better to ask then you," Emmett said giving Edward a high five for coming up with a reason he could get a happy meal. "Oh and I want two toys I want a boy toy and girl toy to give Rosie."

"You can't have two toys in one meal," Lauren argued.

Rosalie gave her the most deadly glare (were talking about Rosalie, that's scary), "I think with all the money we're spending you can give us two toys. Or are you hording them for your love child that you got pregnant with right out of high school?"

Lauren met her glare, "Oh shut up it's not like you weren't a slut."

Emmett growled, "That's my wife you're talking about! Get our food now before we have to use violence."

Lauren rolled her eyes and went back to getting the food ready. That's when I began searching her empty mind.

_I can't believe they're so rude. Seriously I only ruined her wedding and I thought that was hilarious. It isn't fair that she got to marry Edward and I had end up knocked up with Tyler. How can they order that much food? That's so disgusting. How are they so beautiful? How'd I get knocked up at least once every other year with random guy? Life is so unfair I don't deserve this. I mean look at this out fit it's so gross. Plus how the hell could they know that I can't afford actual toys for my kids so I steal the happy meal toys?_

I couldn't take it anymore I began cracking up. Everyone besides my family gave me odd looks especially Lauren. I whispered to everyone what I'd heard in Laurens mind. All the Cullens began cracking up. I guess if you're an ass you get an ass life style. I almost key word almost felt sorry for her. She was obese wrinkly, her hair was all scraggly, and she smelled like cheap perfume. Plus that polyester didn't pull of anything for her.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity Lauren came out with all of our food and said, "That'll eighty dollars and twenty two cents."

"Wow you learned math form when we graduated, congratulations," Rosalie snickered.

Emmett excitedly grabbed his happy meal. He dug through the bag with a wild smile on his face. His eyes were gleaming like a young boys on Christmas. Finally he stopped with anger on his face. "You didn't put a toy in this you BITCH!" Emmett howled stomping the floor with a little less force then he had before.

"Sorry," Lauren said sarcastically like she could care less.

Emmett took his cheese burger out of his meal and took the top bun off revealing ketchup and other slimy condiments. He then shoved it right into Laurens face and rubbed it around.

"EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!" Lauren screeched backing up. We were all laughing, but we began laughing harder when she tripped and fell in the deep fryer. She leaped up screaming profanities and pointing at Emmett.

"Ready take aim and fire," Alice directed. We all had picked up burgers and took the bun of the top while Emmett and his happy meal drama. When Alice said fire we launched them at Lauren. At this time the entire restaurant was looking at Lauren stumbling around screaming. The whole place was filled with laughter directed at Lauren.

Alice must have seen something in the future because she pulled out a video camera and started filming. "Oh this is definitely going on youtube," Alice threatened while we all threw the second round of burgers at Lauren, who was now crying along with every other human in the restaurant, but they were crying from laughter not from embarrassment. Oh this was definitely sweet revenge.

Once we ran out of burger ammo we threw the Mcfluries. Lauren was stumbling around swearing and tripping. She looked like a total oh how do I put this right, oh of course, a total fucked up screwed moron. Once we ran out of Mcfluries we ran out dieing of laughter. We spied from the corner though because Laurens manger was coming for an inspection.

He walked in and his draw dropped, "LAUREN!"

She peeked her food covered head up from the counter, "Yes?" She looked truly alone and frightened, oh this was good.

"Why is there food everywhere?" he questioned shacking from anger.

"I-I-I'm so-rry so-me pe-pe-pole ca-a-a-me a-n-n-d th-th-r-e-e-w it at m-e-e," she stuttered looking nervous.

"Why were they throwing food at you?" he asked his neck vain surging about ready to explode from anger.

"Because I didn't put a toy in the happy meal," Lauren explained.

He sighed, "I've had enough of your drama and your rude remarks to the customers Lauren. I think you should clean this mess up and never come back. To put in Lauren terms, YOU'RE FIERED!" After hearing that we turned to each other and exchanged high fives.

"Emmett thank God you ordered that happy meal," I said breathless from laughing.

He frowned, "Yeah, but now we can't play in the playhouse and I never got my toy."

"Oh grow up," Jasper said in between fits of laughter.

All the sudden Alice's phone began ringing. She picked it up and looked at the caller I.D. "Oh crap it's Esme!"

"What," Rosalie gasped.

"Didn't you see a vision," Edward growled.

"No you baboon Esme knows exactly how to get past my visions," Alice answered glaring at Edward.

"Hello," Alice answered putting Esme on speaker phone, "You're on speaker."

"Kids I'm very disappointed with all the pranks you guys pulled. I can't believe you guys," Esme hissed in the phone with that mother tone.

"How'd you know?" Emmett asked quietly.

"Well when you guys left for the gym I sent Aro out to spy on you guys. I'm very disappointed in you guys. Did you even think about Laurens kids!?" She growled.

"Um, no," Rose answered.

"Well you should have," Esme snapped.

Emmett sighed, "How many days do we have to go without sex?"

"None that's not your punishment this time. You're going to all go out and get jobs. Hope fully it will teach you responsibility. You start Monday morning bright and early,' with that she disconnected.

We all stared at each other with shocked faces of horror. We had to work, that was not something Cullens did. It just wasn't!

**Hey thanks for the reviews I love getting them and they inspire me to write. I'm going to add more about the Cullens jobs, but it may or may not take a while because I'm going away for the weekend. Depends if I have time to write. (Reviews might help me find time to write wink)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I own, but I don't own twilight, wish I did. If I get reviews and if u guys like it I'll probably add another chapter.**

Rosalie POV

_Ew this hair is awful. It's so dry and uh. Oh my God white flakes ew!_ I turned to Alice who was doing another woman's hair, but she was having fun. Working at a salon was her dream job, not mine. My dream job would have been being a babysitter or maybe a model. Of course the camera couldn't even capture my beauty so I'd have to do ramp modeling. At least I didn't have to be Emmett who got the job of being a middle school basketball coach for a team of nasty teenager boys. Bella was lucky though she got to work at being an assistant language teacher for the same middle school Emmett worked at. I wouldn't trade with Edward either I don't think I could get past all that human blood helping out at the hospital. Jasper got the fun job being a director in the drama department in the middle school as well. I wish I could boss people around all day instead I got bossed around by a hideous woman that thought she knew more about beauty then me, fat chance.

"Alice don't you think this is an unfair punishment?" I asked knowing her answer already.

"No this is the best punishment in the world. It more like a reward," Alice sang.

The woman who's hair I was doing looked back and asked, "Your hair looks wonderful what products do you use?"

Well at least this woman knew gorgeous hair when she saw it. "I use a homemade product." I didn't need to shower or anything I was a firkin vampire it was natural. When I was human I used a homemade remedy so that's where I got my answer from.

"Could you bottle it for me I'd pay you," she offered.

"It only works on hair that actually has a chance," I replied coolly.

The woman looked appealed, "You don't think my hair has a chance at being beautiful!"

"Your means of determination are spectacular," I said sarcastically.

Alice glared at me, "Rose, be nice! I don't want to get fired," she warned then she turned to the woman, "I'd ask one of the consultants in the front of the store. Don't mind my sister she's a stuck up vain bitch."

I didn't even care Alice insulted me because she gave me the best idea I ever had except I'd need Emmett's help with it. The word fired sparked my imagination. I felt a tiny bit bad for ruining Alice's dream job, but not nearly bad enough to stop me. I quickly finished the woman's hair a little bit faster then the average human speed.

Once I was done and the costumer was out of my chair I looked up and yelled, "I'm taking a short brake I have a phone call I need to make."

Alice gave me a strange look. She was probably annoyed because she couldn't see what I was planning. I knew how to get past her visions so I'd work that to my advantage. I couldn't stand to imagine what Alice would do if she saw that I was planning to get us both fired. She'd probably kill me before I could even think about it twice. I walked out to the front of the shop and leaned against the wall. I pulled out my sidekick and looked at the filled parking lot. I hit the #2 my speed dial for my husband.

"Rosie how nice of you to call me at work," Emmett sang into the phone sounding excited.

"I love you too," I replied, "I need your help."

"That's a first," Emmett pointed out.

"Your right, but what I need help in is right in your expertise," I said in a hushed voice if Alice heard it she'd storm out and kill me.

"Ah and what would that be?" he asked.

"Ok I want to get fired and I want to make sure I go with a bang. I need you to tell me some pranks or something to get me out of this job from hell," I explained in a whisper that not even a vampire could hear if they were standing next to me.

"Oh Rose I'm so proud of you. I knew eventually I'd have this affect on you," Emmett replied in a happy tone.

"Yes, yes, congratulations now I need a plan now," I said into the phone trying to hide my annoyance.

"Have fun and make all the people who come to you look hideous. Over do it a lot and for the big bang insult your costumers loudly for everyone to hear," he suggested.

"Emmett I love you! I'll do that right now, bye, bye!" I replied into the phone and then snapped it closed not waiting to hear his goodbye. I wanted to begin plan being fired.

I walked back into the salon Alice still looking at me with suspicion I ignored her as my next costumer came up. I first cut her hair all unevenly then I washed it. When I blow dried it I made it so it looked like she stuck her tongue in an electrical outlet. Now it was time for the makeup. I put on bright orange eye shadow and purple lip stick. Why the salon had these colors I had no idea. When I held up the mirror so she could see what she looked like she gasped in horror.

"What did you do to me!" she screeched.

"Nothing that made you look worse, than when you walked in. You were absolutely hideous and all those dead ends and dandruff. I can't believe you had the nerve to come in here and let someone actually touch your hair!" I yelled loudly across the salon making everyone stare.

"Rosalie!" Alice yelled having to try really hard to restrain herself from killing me.

"What I couldn't lie it's a sin so I told the truth," I replied acting all innocent.

"Do you want to get fired!" she screeched in horror.

"No of course not! Wherever would you get that idea?" I asked still pretending to act innocent.

"I HATE YOU!" Alice roared then she had a vision, "Great were fired wait until Esme hears what you did!"

Sure enough the boss came around and fired us. I have to remind Emmett how much I loved him when I got home. He saved me too bad for Alice though. I really didn't mean to hurt her, but as long as I was ok it didn't really matter that much.

**Sorry it's short I just got back. Nyway if you have anything you want to happen or which character you want me to do nest just let me now. If I use your ideas I'll be sure to put your name at the bottom so you'll get credit.**


End file.
